The Cockney Alphabet & Railway Porter’s Prayer

I rediscovered these whilst sorting out a pile of cuttings and other assorted papers I’d built up the other day.  They come from articles in old editions of the Folio Society magazine.

The Cockney Alphabet

I love this, yet apparently there are millions of variations on it – so here are two, the first traditional, the second more modern and illustrated.  Love them both.  Sometimes you’ll need to say the letter phonetically rather than it’s name (e.g. Use a hard G) and if you run it all together saying fer rather than for, it often becomes clearer more quickly!

A for ‘Orses
B for Mutton
C forth Highlanders (A scottish regiment)
D ferential
E for Adam
F fervescence
G for Police
H for Respect
I for Novello
J for Oranges
K(ay) Francis
L for Leather
M for Sis
N fradig
O for the Wings of a Dove
P for Relief
Q for a Song
R for Mo’
S for You
T for Two
U for Me
V for La France
W for Quits
X for Breakfast
Y for Mistress
Z for Breezes

Which brings me to the second cutting. Being from the South London/Surrey borders,  I’m pleased to note the town of my birth (Purley) included in the following.  Again there must be many different ‘prayers’ using the Lord’s Prayer as a basis, but I do like this one…

The Railway Porter’s Prayer

Our Farnham, which art in Hendon, Harrow be thy name. Thy Kingstoncome, thy Wimbledon, in Erith as it is in Hendon. Give us this day ourLeatherhead and lead us not into Thames Ditton, but deliver us from Ealing, for thine is the Kingston, the Purley and the Crawley, for Iver and Iver, Crouch End.